Like most young adults, my hunger lies within "finding myself" and finding the perfect job, or the perfect boyfriend in my case, or at least the perfect balance. For the past 6 months I have been seeing a career counselor, and an educational coach waiting for them to feed me the perfect answer we all seek, not realizing that I'm already full with these answers.My whole life I've known what I was here for. After seeing my career counselor especially, she has opened me up. She has showed me that I can't live here for what anyone else wants out of me. Only myself. Knowing this already, it felt better coming from someone else. If I fail, I have to live with it, and if I don't fail (which is sometimes scarier), I have to live with it. Me and only me.
My counselor has been in her position for over 20 years and over the years she has seen many walks of life come in to her 10x10 office with hunger and determination, as well as lost hope and pity for themselves. I think to an extent you have to have a little of both in order to bring yourself to her. More times than not she has helped people who have dreams to get their name in the spotlights, but never had she met someone with such hunger as I. The ones with only the dreams, usually decide on another career, but to me, although a dream at the least, I feel it is my destiny. It gave me greater hope and the boost of confidence I needed for someone without a biased opinion to notice that trait in me. Your family and friends can tell you as many times as you want that's what you were meant to do, but to have a stranger that is supposed to give you a reality check start believing too, that's when you know. And I know...
I know that no matter what happens I am going to give it my all, because as a Brown girl, that's what I do. I don't have all of the training I need, and I may be starting late, but I'm not going to let that stop me. I know that I can succeed if I want to. Success isn't necessarily putting my name in the spotlight, although I wouldn't object to it. Success comes from giving everything you have to something you believe in. No matter what twists and punches are thrown at you, success is still giving everything. Because if you never give everything, then you never really tried. I believe the same can be said for love.
I love to sing. I love to make people laugh. I love to draw a crowd. I love to be #1 in everything that I do. If there's a competition, I want to beat you. I love to free style dance. I love to learn. I love to give people the benefit of the doubt. I love to say yes. I love adventure. I love to be believed in. I love to believe. I love to be loved. I love to love. I love Wiener dogs. I love piggy back rides. I love to day dream. I love playing name that tune. I love to help others. I love popping your toes. And I especially love my mom!
Out of all of these things that I love, (and I'm sure there's more but I will spare you) ;) I have decided to finally make the trip to Los Angeles. I've been skating around it for the last few years. I tried Nashville which I'm so glad I did, and I have some of the most amazing friends in the world because of it. I've gotten my feet back on the ground and although it has been tough living back at home, I would do it all again. For every action there is a reaction. Every choice in life that you make, brings you to where you are now and where you are going. Although it's hard to admit, I have actually learned a lot about myself in the last few years while I have been living at home.
So look for big things from me. Maybe this adventure will lead me down a completely different path than I imagine, or down the exact path that I imagine, but either way if you know me at all, you know that I am going to have fun and make people laugh and smile along the way. I will keep writing blogs to keep everyone updated on my adventures, and I will share the good and the bad. Because life isn't always about the pretty things, but it makes you appreciate it that much more when you've struggled. So look out Hollywood 'cause Dallas is Starving!
